The Semiotician to the Stars just got back from New York where she had the opportunity to hang out at the Gotham Film Awards celebrating Tim Robbins, Kate Winslet, and Edward Norton. I had an all access pass and a sneaky little black dress on, and delighted in the fact that I was neither there to work or schmooze, but instead was able to stand back and watch the spectacle with my trained semiotic eye. But as I learned, just as the shoemaker’s children are barefoot and the doctor’s kids are sick I have more to say about image than celebreality. Go figure.
What I Learned:
(1) The red carpet was actually baby blue, but everyone still calls in the red carpet.
(2) Most of the press were nice and very bored, I mean it’s not exactly breaking news on Iraq.
(3) The stars are able to morph into photogenic plastic face, like an instant mask for the camera as they are shot on the “red” carpet. It’s eerie!!! I sort of want to learn how to do it for christmas photos. Say cheesy!
(4) In order to get a photo the press yells the person’s name over and over like a dog. “Here Isabella, here, here Isabella.” It is really demeaning.
(5) There is really no reason to ever speak to a celebrity, unless you changed their diapers or are sleeping with them. Everything else just sounds like freaky small talk.
(6) It is weird to catch a celebrity staring at you, and you catch their eye. Yeah you know who you are.
(7) The starlets want to be liked. Brittany Murphy and the Japanese actress from Babel Rinko Kikuchi smiled at me so big you would think I was a New York Times reporter. And they are smart, because I could be, that is the fun of it, if you are there you could be anyone.
(8) I almost got stuck in a Kate Winslet/Brittany Murphy sandwich in the bathroom.
(9) EVERYONE IS SHORT except Tim Robbins and Edward Norton. The actresses were tiny, not skeletal but diminuitive.
(10) The Latin American directors who were in my UCLA film class were there–Innaritu and Del Toro, and it was strange seeing them behind the scenes. I spoke to Del Toro and told him that I really enjoyed his talk after the class. But I got the feeling that after the full press junket they had been on since my class they were probably more “leave me alone” than “we are all connected” and “disobedience is a virtue.” See the quotes from my last post, then imagine every quote put through an Academy Award speech translator.