I just got home from Yosemite and watched the sweaty hair glam epic “Troy.”
In ancient history, or atleast the Iliad, it appears that wars were started out of love and passion rather than oil and fear of other’s religions. Or atleast wars are started by men getting their panties in a twist over pretty girls like Helen of Troy. Women are extremely problematic in ancient Rome and Greece. They appear to be the only thing stopping men from constantly growling and killing each other for power. Can you imagine if we found out that the real reason for the Iraq war was because George Bush desired Saddam Hussein’s wife? Or since it is Paris who actually steals away with Helen of Troy, can you imagine the odd scenario of Saddam Hussein stealing Paris Hilton in a maniacal burst of passion?
“Women, have a way of complicating things.” Is what Odysseus says to Achilles. Oh yes, we do! While the men in the film “Troy” are out experiencing core id moments, women sit in their towers and blubber while staying fresh and pretty. I swear most of the cast of fighters were from The Lord of the Rings–a celebration of wide faces, squat bodies, long luscious man-hair in braids and configurations that I found fascinating. I could just see those warriors, after a long day at battle, combing out their locks and rebraiding, making sure their little beads are all in place. Getting together after a long hard day on the battlefield, clanking their chalices full of mead and polishing their armor so they look extra fierce. Adding feathers to their caps.
There is some sort of weird elliptical wisdom, much along “Stupid is as stupid does” throughout the film. Truisms on the level of Star Wars’ “Beware the dark side.” “Luke, use the force” and many others that I could paraphrase and probably get wrong.
Some Pearls of Wisdom from Troy:
“Sometimes the Gods love you in the morning and curse you in the afternoon.”
“Sometimes you have to serve in order to lead.”
“Fear is useful.”
“There will always be another war, that I promise you.”
Say all of these in some sort of down-market faux englishy accent and it sounds pretty much like the movie.